How to Manage When Your Own Parents Interfere 

Parenting Perspective 

When your own parents interfere, offering constant suggestions, correcting you in front of your child, or overriding your decisions, it creates a unique kind of tension. You accept that you have love and respect for them but knowing that you are a parent now, the role of their parenting for their grandchild would be different than the parents.  

It becomes even harder when the interference happens in front of your child, because it undermines your authority. It also confuses your child about whose rules matter and can reduce your ability to parent with clarity and consistency. The goal is not to argue or ‘put them in their place.’ The goal is to create loving, respectful boundaries that protect your child’s emotional structure and your parental confidence. 

Step 1: Recognise What Kind of Interference is Happening 

• Is it occasional advice that comes from care, but just needs to be filtered? 

• Or is it persistent control, correcting your tone, criticising your choices, or making you feel like a child again? 

Knowing the difference helps you decide whether to gently redirect or firmly re-establish roles. 

Step 2: Establish Emotional Boundaries with Honour 

You can hold your ground without becoming harsh. Try saying privately: 

• ‘I value your experience, and I know you want the best for my child. But I need the space to build my own parenting rhythm, even if it looks different from how you did it. 

If needed, be clearer: 

• “When I set a rule and it is changed in front of my child, it confuses them. Please help me create consistency, I really need your support in that.” 

This is not disrespect instead this is maturity. 

Step 3: Protect Your Child’s Emotional Safety 

If interference happens in front of your child, do not compete in the moment. Respond with calm neutrality, then clarify later with your child: 

• ‘Nana/Nani has their way of doing things, but we have our way, and it is okay for families to be different.’ 

This reinforces your voice without dishonouring theirs. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam beautifully teaches the balance between honouring parents and fulfilling your own role with responsibility. You are not sinful for asking for space to parent, in fact, it is part of your Amanah to lead with confidence and protect your child’s emotional clarity. 

A Reminder to Disagree Without Disrespect 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Luqman (31), verse 15: 

“And if they (the parents) argue with you on (the matter of) ascribing to anything (which amounts to  icon worshipping paganism), other than (worshipping) Me (Allah Almighty); then (you can say to them) you do not have any knowledge (of the truth).…” 

While this Verse is about matters of faith, it teaches a wider principle: you can disagree without disrespect. You can say ‘no’ with dignity. And you can preserve honour while protecting your space. 

The Prophetic Model: You Are the Shepherd 

It is recorded in Sahih al-Bukhari that the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

“Each of you is a shepherd, and each of you is responsible for his flock…” 

[Sahih al-Bukhari, 893] 

As a parent, you are now the shepherd. That means you lead, with softness, with steadiness, and with full accountability before Allah Almighty. 

So the next time your parent steps in too far, breathe. Step back. Then step forward, gently but clearly. You are not being disloyal. You are growing into the role Allah has now entrusted to you.